This is somewhat of a continuation of an earlier post. Continuation in that it's kind of a vague attempt to let the less talkative part of the brain get some ideas out. We shall see how coherent that is.
I'm getting along by mostly going one day at a time. It's a decent way of doing things, but it is tiring. If you're not looking far down the road, you're also not really able to see any relief or break. I don't have vacations lined up. Most of my long term plans are gone. Even if I had them, I'd be alone, so that's not going to solve anything.
The tough part here is confluence of a couple of different things. One, Hillary is dead and isn't coming back. Two, there is a part of my brain (emotional part) that is of the opinion that if I can get through just one more day, then normality will resume sometime soon.
That part of the brain is beginning to realize that normality is gone and it is recoiling.
If I'm honest with myself, I've been going day to day in large part for nearly a year and a half now. Things changed when Hillary was diagnosed. It feels like my life has been on hold for the entire time.
So not super coherent, but yeah. Life on hold isn't super fun folks.